Actual Military Warnings

“Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” – U.S. Army

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” – U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” – Infantry Journal

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” – U.S. Air Force Manual

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” – Infantry Journal

“Tracers work both ways.” – U.S. Army Ordnance

“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.” – Infantry Journal

“If your attack is going too well, you’re probably walking into an ambush.” – Infantry Journal

“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.” – Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.” – Anon

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” – Unknown Army Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” – Your Buddies

“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.” – U.S.A. Ammo Troop